Friday, November 18, 2011

My journey into the hotwife life

What I really like about hotwifing is having the freedom to explore myself sexually with other men and then reliving those experiences together with my husband. I am not a writer in anyway shape or form and sometimes when I recall things to my husband I have difficulty expressing all my feelings and putting them into words so I have decided to start this blog as a place to further describe my time out with other men for my husband to read as well as sharing my experiences with you. Reading your blogs has helped us on our journey and I do hope you enjoy my recollections as well.

I'll apologize now for the novel I am about to write but I have a couple of years to try to sensually cram into a few paragraphs so I can get onto current experiences :) I do hope you read it and will leave me a comment to let me know what you think or just say hi!

If you asked me a couple of years ago if I could have sex with someone other then my answer would have been "NO". If you ask me that today I will tell you "YES" and WE both LOVE it!

It's hard to explain to the average person as most people would not understand and would wonder..."what's wrong with their marriage?" or "how can they love each other and sleep other people?" To be honest it took me awhile to get used to the idea myself...or rather it took me awhile to admit I was interested in sleeping with other people.

So how did we get from happily married to happily hotwifing with a young family?

I'll start in the beginning...we love each other truly, madly, deeply. We both have enjoyed each other sexually since our first time together over 12 years ago but sadly as some of you know and experienced yourselves we had kids and life got busy. We had time for the kids and appointments and meetings and our businesses but we forgot to make time to be sexually adventurous together and we got used to the same old bedroom sex every night and became lazy lovemakers.

One day in our foyer my husband drew me close, tussled his fingers through my hair and feverishly grabbed hold of the hair at the nape of my neck. Our lips passionately kissed leaving me wet with desire. That tug of my hair and passionate kiss awakened a deep sexual animal within me. My sexual being perhaps awoke more deeply then ever before. We began to take time again to talk about our desires, our lustful needs and fantasies. Our discussions began to bring us closer then we ever imagined possible and we decided that since Valentines Day was coming up we should take a trip to Hedonism III to rekindle our desires for eachother.

We went to Hedo once before in 2004 when I was what you'd call a "prude"! We loved the sexual energy at the resort but all I could manage to do was go topless! I remember feeling so risque...removing my top by the pool, swimming and suntanning topless, thinking about a tan with no tan lines...boy I lived a sheltered life!

This trip to Hedo (in Feb 2010) was quite different. As we rode the bus to the resort from the airport, I knew that this was not going to be a regular vacation.  Their definitely was a new sexual energy in the air.  My husbands hand wandered up the inside of my thighs and we talked about the potential fun times ahead.  We knew we wanted to explore the nude side of the resort more this time, but were a bit self-conscious.  To break-the-ice, we decided to go straight to the nude area, get naked and hop in the pool. It was a perfect idea (I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to go to Hedo but is a bit shy like me). We arrived at about 4:00pm when most people are having a "nap". I say this jokingly as many "naps" involve very little sleep! There was no one in sight, but the butterflies in my stomach began as we removed our clothes piece by piece. Was I really getting naked? Yes, yes I was and we quickly jumped in the pool.  We spent the week enjoying eachother, having sex in the open, enjoying the evening entertainment, dressing up in our costumes and being nude most of the time. It was the best vacation ever!!!

We met a couple from the Vancouver area and they told us about some local clubs that offered an atmosphere similar to Hedo.  We had never considered swinging, but certainly had no issue with having sex in public or with others around.  When we got home we checked out the clubs and learned about a local website for people in the "lifestyle".  This is where we met a couple who we were compatible with in all areas.

We had our first experiences together with them in the lifestyle. I watched my husband please another women, watched him lick her to orgasm, watched her give him a blow job and watched him have sex with her all while I was doing the same with her husband. It was amazingly liberating. It was such a turn on. It was incredible to have four bodies mingle together, touching each other, listening to each other moan with the pleasures.  It was with then we discovered I really like women as well. Her and I...kissing, caressing, exploring each others bodies and bringing each other to ecstasy. I enjoyed being with her husband too don't get me wrong, but I think I felt safer enjoying her than I did admitting I liked having sex with another man. I still was learning to accept that fact.

With each time we were all together, we were left wanting more...until one day they ended it out-of-the-blue.  Being fairly new to the lifestyle and with limited experience with couples, it left us feeling confused. How could something that felt so right just be dismissed so easily?  Maybe it was us? Maybe it was them? Maybe they wanted to explore others? Maybe they had to focus more on their family? Maybe one or both of them changed their minds? It took me a few months to get over the fact that we'll never know the answers. I needed to except that and move on.

Since then we have learned that finding couples that we are both compatible with is hard to come by. We love sex, but we also need to feel chemistry before we can take it any further with anyone. We have played with a few couples since then, but none of us have clicked together as well as our first experience and in all fairness to those other couples, I think we were the ones holding back.  I think that having such a great experience so soon after beginning our journey in the lifestyle was actually a major setback.  We found ourselves looking for the same connection in future couples and we probably have set the bar too high.  Our journey in the lifestyle had been changed.

After returning from Hedo, we continued going to clubs, meeting people and having fun together. We started to explore other options since we hadn't connected on the same level with any other couple yet. My husband suggested hotwifing and I at first thought...really? Did he honestly want me to go out and sleep with someone else...without him? We have always said we wanted same room play only. We enjoy watching each other with others and we enjoy describing to each other how that person made us feel, what turned us on and relive those experiences together. (Let me tell is amazing to hear how turned on someone else made your husband feel).

I was still apprehensive about the hotwife idea. Playing alone? We never dreamed we wanted this. Are we moving to fast? I needed to come to grips with the fact that he was OK with it. I mean really OK with it. The last thing either of us wanted to do was to do something we'd regret. The thought of hotwifing was exciting but I needed to come to terms with the fact that he wanted it before I could allow myself to entertain the idea.

February rolled around again and we headed back to Hedo...however Hedo III closed so we disappointingly booked our ticket to Hedo II not sure what to expect there as we had heard a lot of criticism about Hedo II. We thankfully had a blast! We met some great people and had a lot of fun. The sexual energy at Hedo is what we love. At Hedo you can do what ever you want and not be judged.

After returning from Hedo we had a lot discussions and put a lot of thought into what becoming a hotwife could do for our us and we decided to experiment. We would take it slow and see where it goes.

Our first experience with hotwifing was a array of emotions for both of us. We decided to go to a bar on a hockey night. My husband dressed me up in his favourite little black dress and my "fuck me" boots and off we went both with butterflies in our tummies not sure what to expect.

The bar we went to had an elevated area where my husband sat which looked down where I sat at the bar. I order a drink, and waited for the hockey game to start. My husband would text me about possible guys I might hit on when someone sat down beside me. He was cute but painfully shy...even more so then me but I knew I had to start the conversation so I suggested an appetizer to him and from then on we chatted the evening away while watching the hockey game. When ever I could I would sneak a text off to my husband to see how he was doing and to let him know I was excited to be sitting here with this guy wondering just how far this would go.

When the game ended (and we won!), the dance floor opened and my new friend (whom I'll call J) and I decided to dance. It's hard to recall every emotion that was going through me but I know I was very excited. 

We danced very closely for quite awhile, his hands would wander and explore my body. He'd brush his hands across my cheek and through my hair but he was very shy. I felt the chemistry building between us as we danced seductively together. I thought that having my husband watch me would make me a bit insecure but it didn't. It actually turned me on and when he put his hand on the nape of my neck and kissed me, I kissed back. I melted in his arms and my body filled with desire. I wanted him and wanted him bad!

After awhile we sat down for a bit and he noticed my wedding ring for the first time. He was disappointed. I explained to him it was OK. That my husband knew I was here and what I was doing. It was hard for him to understand or even fathom that idea so it took a bit of convincing him. In the end he didn't want to say goodbye. He wanted me as much as I wanted him and I persuaded him to come home with me. 

I called my husband to tell him we would be ready to leave soon and yes J was coming home with me and he left to warm up the truck.

J and I went outside to the truck where my husband was waiting and both climbed in the back seat. After a few minutes of introductions my husband drove us home while watching us passionately kissing and exploring each others bodies through the rear view mirror.

When we got home my husband snuck upstairs quickly to light some candles while I got J a drink. Shyly we all spoke briefly and then J and I went upstairs to our bedroom while my husband stayed downstairs. 

I have to admit I was nervous. Even though I have had sex with other guys during our marriage within our lifestyle experiences, my husband had always been by my side. This time he wasn't. This time I had a stranger in our bed alone. A stranger whom I wanted feel it inside me. A stranger whom I wanted to make me orgasm again and again (just thinking about it now still makes me excited). 

We laid down in the middle of our king size bed and began to explore each other. We kept our clothes on for a bit but with each kiss and touch the chemistry rose until we could stand it no longer. He pulled off my dress leaving me laying in my lingerie. Then he removed his clothes and cupped my breasts in his hands and took them in his mouth suckling each nipple until making me orgasm. He was very sensual and liked to touch and caress every part of my body awakening primal desires within me. His hands moved lower and lower ever so slowly until his fingers found my wetness and like magic made me orgasm again with his fingers and again with his tounge. I am loving every sensation going through my body and enjoying the attention immensely.

Slowly I pulled him up and turned him over so I can repay the pleasure with taking his dick in my mouth ever so slowly and teasingly at first and then more rapidly and deeper. By his moans I know he is enjoying it as he is stiff and full of desire so I sit up and slide him inside of me. That first throb of him inside of me sent me into ecstasy and I knew we would have a long evening of fun ahead. I loved how his dick made me feel and the more he made me cum, the more I wanted him.

He asked me to tell him about a fantasy of mine and I told him I wanted a threesome with two guys. I was even more excited when he suggested that my husband join us. By this time I am having an amazing night and bringing my husband into bed with us was even more amazing then I could ever have thought possible. Call me selfish but I LOVE the attention. I love to have one man in my mouth and another inside of me, then having them switch so I can taste my own cum from the others dick and then having both of them in my mouth together. WOW! A total turn on and a fantasy fulfilled for the first time but hopefully not the last time.

This experience left us both wanting more. We will still continue in the lifestyle hoping to find a foursome that works so we can have fun together but we know we want to continue with hotwifing as well. I find it very empowering to be given permission to go out and have fun. The thought of being shared is very naughty and I like it! So I begin this blog and will share with you my experiences along the way as they happen (I promise to not be so long winded in the future). I hope you have enjoyed reading my first post and hope future posts will be even more enjoyable.